The Fear of Riding was gone I was feeling good, had my mojo back. Then the fall came that rid of any remaining confidence. No, it wasn’t exciting or dramatic-I sort of wish it was. Would make a far better story! Simply trotting on a 20-metre circle, yep that’s it.

Well there is a little more to it. A fresh horse, that was also freshly clipped and some twinkly Christmas lights. Trotting around he had already scooted off and I got control back. He was working well, soft over his back and taking the bit-lovely. Then he bucked-just enough to send me toppling down his shoulder. This should not have been dramatic, I should have landed in heap then got back on. Unfortunately, my head caught his hoof. I don’t remember much other than sitting on a mounting block holding my head and trying to work out what had happened. The scuff on the hat said it all.

Still like all good equestrians I got back on. Why do we all do this? It’s like unless we have broken both our legs we will always get back on. So back on I got. We finished the lesson and I sat in the tack room. Called Hubby and asked him to pick me up as I had fallen off. Off who he asked? I don’t know was my reply!

Part Three of The Fear of Riding: Strip

An evening sat on the sofa crying with the pain of my headache pushed me to go to A&E. It’ll be nothing I told hubby but I just want to check I don’t have an intracranial bleed-that was the vet nurse in me. A bizarrely short wait led me into the examination room where a doctor palpated my neck. He asked if it hurt. Yes, I replied but my neck always hurts, I have fallen off many a time and carry stress in my neck. It always hurts. He decided this wasn’t a suitable answer and proceeded to hold my head whilst I was put into a gown and strapped to a spinal board. Thereafter followed four of the most boring plus worrying hours of my life. Don’t worry they kept saying if it’s broken we can just fix it.

I was fairly certain I hadn’t broken it. I could feel my hands and feet plus move. Still though what if I had just been lucky? You do start to wonder after laying there counting ceiling tiles. You begin to wonder if it was worth it? What if you end up a wheelchair just because you wanted to ride? So many what if. When you are strapped own all reasonable thoughts leave your head!

Part Three of The Fear of Riding: counting tiles

A CT scan was prompt but the wait to hear the results was slow. Eventually I was given the all clear, a case of concussion but no breaks. I got a telling off for calling an ambulance. Apparently if you can’t remember what happened or pass out (I did both) then you should call one. I promised too next time. Not that there was going to be a next time. Nope, no more riding. Why on earth would I carry on. Let’s be honest I wasn’t very good and I quite liked being able to walk. At this point it’s worth noting two things. Firstly, if you have concussion don’t go back to work the next day-you will be useless and annoying. Secondly the horse was later found to have a sore back so he wasn’t being bad he was in pain.

Part Three of The Fear of Riding: No more ponies

So that was me done. No more horse riding for me. I didn’t really tell anyone, I didn’t put it on Facebook and up until yesterday not even Karen knew. Why? Because I felt like a muppet. Such a muppet, I can’t even trot a circle without ending up in hospital. Best for everyone if I just stay off horses. I tried riding my friend’s kid’s pony but I didn’t enjoy it much. It was nice but I still had worries and niggles. So, for the whole summer I haven’t ridden. I’ve met horse I would kill to ride and been asked multiple times did I ride. My response was always ‘I used too’

You feel a bit like a fraud when you mix in the equine circles and don’t ride. Was I really a true equine photographer?

Part Three of The Fear of Riding: Back in the Saddle

Well in answer to these questions I actually (as off yesterday) do ride and yes, I am an equine photographer. I got aboard the lovely Red Anchor (Ginger) and went for a hack around Boyton Hill. It felt amazing to be back in the saddle and after some time with the super star, Ginger, I returned grinning from ear to ear. I just needed some time to miss it I think. For many weekends now I’ve looked at stubble fields and been desperate to canter over them.


My goals for next year are these.


Next winter is to hire a hireling and go out with the Coakham Bloodhounds

Do a sponsored ride


Huge thank you to everyone mentioned in this blog. You are all part of my horsey world and I wouldn’t be without you xx