It’s been a funny old few weeks at Frog and Field HQ. Finally seem to be getting somewhere with getting the immune condition under control…. here’s hoping it stays that way (as I frantically find some wood!) Once that pesky thing is under control I think it’ll be a lot easier to get some focus on things and adopt a change of mindset.

One of the side effects of the steroids and being fed up with being ill is the weight gain. I no longer fit into my size twelves and to be honest a fourteen is a struggle. Everyone’s ‘ideal size’ is different so whilst some people are happy being that size I am not. I hate how I look, I hate having pictures taken and I most certainly do not want to go out. Well at least not sober. One delightful part of my condition is that I have to be mindful of what I drink. My kidneys haven’t been happy for a few weeks and the meds can have a negative effect on my liver. So, getting bladdered and drinking away my negative thoughts about how I look isn’t an option. Cue sad face.

I eat my emotions and I really need to stop doing that. I’m sure I am not alone in this! Vicious cycle, eat, feel fat and sad so then eat some more. Drives me mad!

Change of mindset: Positive Pants

One amazing thing that has happened though is that I’ve found a yard to ride at! A lovely lady with a heart of gold has truly made my year and I can’t put into words how grateful I am to her.

I won’t go into details and bore you all but it’s safe to say I’m having a ball. Every muscle aches when I get off but in a really good way. Gosh I am so unfit, like so unfit. It is getting better but until I have my heart condition checked (yup I am that lucky) I’m reluctant to start running again. Appointment beginning of November and then it’s boot camp to prep for the work’s Christmas party. A huge highlight of the calendar and I’m determined to not feel like a whale in a sparkly dress. Plus every girl loves a reason to shop! Something else I do when I’m stressed. So I end up skint and lardy….oh dear it’s not looking good for Christmas.

Blogging has also stopped and started, mainly because I think my overall mood has been a bit erratic. I was amazed to see the outpouring of support for mental health awareness day but for me this is something we need to be aware of everyday. Not just one day in the year. Once I get blogging I love it and see it like an online diary. With some bits clearly left out-mainly so I don’t get sued! There are a few little projects in the pipeline, including a course which I’ll reveal more about in time and the business is finding its niche. As a photographer I’ve learnt and developed so much this summer. All very exciting for next year.

A change of mindset: Still horses!

Drag hunting has started and Plumpton races has also kicked got going, so a few Mondays and weekends will be spent there. ‘More bloody horses’ to quote Mr Frog and Field-HAHA-always darling! Website enquiries are also coming in frequently so perfect for the dark evenings…can’t believe the clocks change next weekend. There’s something so lovely about PJs, cuppa and biscuits (see food again!) whilst it’s dark and cold outside. Plus, the early sunsets are making me excited. So actually, just writing this has perked me up.

Change of mindset: Journal for the good

No wonder one of the top tips that coaches and meditation gurus pass along is the art of journaling. Sometimes just putting it all out there makes things a lot clearer. Whilst there’s been some spectacular lows, which still keep me awake at night, there’s also been some epic highs. I could go on and on about it but it won’t change anything. Social media is not the time or the place for negativity, despite how tempting it can be. Positivity will always be more fun and enjoyable to read.

 

A wise someone once told me ‘You can’t change what people think or say about you, BUT you can change how you react to it’

There’s a few things that have helped me:

  1. Riding- always has been and always will be my happy place.
  2. Neom Stress Less Roll On- blooming lovely and great before bed
  3. ‘Everything you need you have‘ – A book I purchase pre Tatts cancelled flight drama but it’s awesome
  4. This Blog- Maybe I should get a journal?
  5. Yoga- I’m back on the mat- need a new mat as the cats used it as a scratching post and I still can’t touch my toes but I’m trying.

Friends and Family have also been vital and that’s another positive to the winter, it’s quieter and friends that have been understanding all summer now can’t rid of me.

This is me holding my head high, stopping stuffing face and getting back on the horse for a bloody good ride. Who’s with me?