Is she though?

I’m sure you’re all heard of the phrase fake it till you make it, but how damaging is this? Why do we feel the need to hype our lives up and make them seem super awesome?

Is she though-Are you happy?

A little away ago a had a conversation with someone that made me a little sad. They asked me if I was happy all the time, because she wasn’t. She went on to say that my Facebook page looked like I was out having fun all the time and that Richard and I were happy. Now because I am a brutally honest question I said that don’t be silly of course I wasn’t happy sometimes (actually more than some) and that she shouldn’t believe everything that she saw on Facebook.

Now there are two sides to this. First of all, I go on Facebook to look at cute pictures of people’s pets, catch up with them and also to run my business. I don’t like going on Facebook to loads of doom and gloom. I hate people that put cryptic attention seeking messages all the time- I may have done it once or twice a while ago. Also, a constant stream of negative-ness makes me not like reading people’s posts but …and it’s a big but nor do I love the stream of fakery.

It’s very difficult isn’t it! On the one people having a moan is rather off putting but on the flip side is the constant sunshine and flowers all a bit fake? I really do feel that I would be a lot happier if Facebook didn’t exist. I can’t resist spending hours scrolling and with every scroll and every glimpse in someone else’s perfect life my feels more under scrutiny. Here’s the thing though is that person’s life perfect? Probably not.

Frog and Field

Is she though-Fake it till you make it

Someone else said to me following a discussion about how few gift vouchers I’d sold compared to another photographer who had posted about how they loved sending out all these gift vouchers and how many they had sent. The response from my friend was ‘Is she though?’ Well it’s a bloody good point. Nobody wants to buy from a business that isn’t doing well and it wouldn’t create a good impression if my business posts were ‘another day with no vouchers selling-for goodness sake what do I need to do?’

Sometimes though I wonder that we are all damaging each other with our constant need to have a perfect life, perfect relationship and perfect career.

Do you know what, life isn’t perfect all of the time? There are perfect moments, there are great moments, there are funny moments and there are also some sad and trying moments. Often people are hiding great sadness or secret anxieties. They are battling demons that we may never know. Not everyone has a huge drama or problem they need to get through. Some of us are just a little bit sad and a little bit lost. Not because they have an epic life incident but maybe because they battle with a degree of depression.

Most of the time these people are happy and love what they do and who they are with and sometimes they just want to sit and cry. Let me tell you that sometimes that is me.

My husband looks at me and he has no clue what to do. Sometimes he is sad and spends a night not wanting to speak. The joy of having friends, loved ones and family is that they want to help you. They may not know how to but they want too. I am lucky to have a husband that understands sometimes I am just a bit sad. I try hard to not let it consume me but sometimes I have a cry and a lot of wine or gin.

Athena Equestrian

Is she though-Don’t judge yourself against someone else’s standards

Just keep this in mind before you judge yourself by someone else’s standard. Also consider the other side to the life you see via Facebook and other social media. Yes it’s great and I couldn’t be without it but I do worry that it causes us to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and our lives. Your true happiness can only come from you. You being happy with what you have and not what you don’t have.